


Because I Love You

by aqashahadhir



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, One-Sided Love, Showki, Sorry really, kiho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 09:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11733885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqashahadhir/pseuds/aqashahadhir
Summary: Because Hoseok loves Kihyun.So it's all good.





	Because I Love You

“HOSEOK-HYUNG!!”

 

Hoseok looks up towards the direction of the voice while wiping his sweaty neck. He grins when he sees him running across the vast football field towards him. 

The silver-haired guy quickly opens his arms and he jumps straight into it.

 

“Hey Ki. What’s up?” Hoseok ask him. 

 

His Kihyun.

 

The small guy in his arms squirms a little bit trying to find a comfortable position for himself. Hoseok tightens his arms around Kihyun’s waist. 

“Good morning hyung. How was your day?” Kihyun asks, finally, after making himself comfortable in Hoseok’s arms. His pale cheeks redden after being exposed to the sunlight. Hoseok’s heart flutters wildly at the sight and his hand unconsciously making its way to one of the cheek to caress it. 

“Meh. Nothing much. I don’t have any class today. How about you?” Hoseok asks the pink-haired guy. 

Kihyun dyed his hair pink a few days ago and until now Hoseok can’t stop thinking how the colour suits the small guy so much. It made Kihyun look more ethereal, if that even more possible, than he already is. His pale complexion looks even paler. Hoseok had never seen more beautiful person than the one in his arms right now. 

Said guy scrunches his nose and pouts. He is so cute Hoseok feels like he could die a happy man right there and then.

 

“No fair. I have like a bajillion classes today. Can you believe that my lit. Prof wants a 10-page essay, minimum, about Chinese lit. history by next week? 10-pages hyung! I mean come on! Today’s already Thursday and I have like, what, four days? Four fucking days! I’m not gonna get any sleep this week I swear to god I’m gonna-“ 

“Right!” Hoseok quickly cuts the fuming guy off from his tirade.

Hoseok loves the little guy, he really does. But once Yoo Kihyun starts talking he could literally goes on for days, and as much as Hoseok’s think Kihyun’s voice is the angel’s voice itself, he would rather not being talked his ears off. 

The pink-haired man glares at Hoseok, his already small eyes becomes even smaller. Hoseok thinks he looks just like a hamster. A fuming, cute hamster.

“Aren’t you hungry? You must be hungry right? Let’s go to the cafeteria. I’ll buy you whatever you want okay?” Hoseok starts soothing the tiny man. His hand that was previously caressing Kihyun’s cheek moves to the man’s pink hair and patting them. 

“Okay!” The smaller guy answers without missing a beat. Food is always the answer when handling Yoo Kihyun. Hoseok internally shakes his head. Hamster is such a fitting animal for Kihyun.

Kihyun suddenly scrunches his nose again and looks up to Hoseok.

 

Hoseok’s hearts roars for the umpteenth time.

 

“Hyung, get off me. You smell like rotten egg.” 

Hoseok lets out a laugh and pretends to give him a peck. Kihyun quickly struggles to escape his hold while hitting Hoseok’s bulging arm with his small paws.

“Sorry sorry! You’re so cute Ki. Just let me cool off for a while yeah?” Hoseok asks while loosening his hold on Kihyun. He retrieves a clean towel from his bag and starts wiping off the sweats from his morning runs.

Kihyun looks into his own bag and takes out a sheet of tissue from the tissue package that he usually brings everywhere. He says it’s convenient and more often than not people will need them. Kihyun wipes off the sweats on Hoseok’s forehead and hairline. Patting the tissue gently as not to hurt any skin on Hoseok’s face. Hoseok can’t help but to helplessly stare at the boy.

 

Warmth spreads from Hoseok’s heart throughout his whole body. 

 

Kihyun, despite his grumpy persona that he exudes to people outside his small circle-of-friends and family, is a very soft and gentle person. 

His words may often be very direct, and sometimes sarcastic, but they’re never hurtful. He nags his friends a lot ( read : Minhyuk and Hyungwon) but it’s because he truly cares for them. And he dotes on some of them (read : Jooheon and Changkyun ) too much, yes, but that’s because he has too much love to give to others. Kihyun is not good with words and often had a hard time when it comes to expressing his affection and adoration, so he settles with showing them physically towards the people that he loves. 

He gives out hugs and pats freely, especially towards the two youngest in their group, and he would always mock-hit the people that he was angry at but will ended up caressing their backs or patting their heads softly. He would make sure none of his friends forget to take their breakfast and make it his life mission not to let any of them sleeps with an empty stomach. His heart is just so so big, and Hoseok is just so so in love.

 

In love with Yoo Kihyun.

 

Kihyun finally notices Hoseok’s stare and beams brightly. “Can we go eat now, hyung?”

“Y-yeah.” Hoseok nods and his heart skip a million beats when Kihyun wraps his arm to Hoseok’s and pulling him towards the cafeteria.

Hoseok swears that Yoo Kihyun will definitely be the death of him.

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The cafeteria is packed with people as usual. The two men walk through the herds of hungry college students, Kihyun talking (read : nagging) practically about anything and everything that catches his eyes and Hoseok listening attentively (not) while keeping a hand casually slung on the smaller man’s shoulder. 

They walk towards their usual hang-out spot located at the farthest corner of the cafeteria, quite hidden from most people’s sights, and quickly sit, with them being on opposite seats on each other as ususal. Hoseok lets his eyes roam around the vicinity and notices that some girls are secretly staring at him and he, being a perfect gentleman that Mrs. Shin raised right, smiles at them and winks.

Kihyun, noticing Hoseok’s gesture, knocks his knuckles to Hoseok’s forehead. “Stop flirting with innocent hearts Shin Hoseok. They don’t deserve your insincere gesture.” He says while shaking his head. Some of his hair falling into his eyes and Hoseok wants so badly just to cards his hand in the pinkette’s hair and brush the strands aside.

 

He was just about to do so, a hand making its way to the smaller man’s head when Kihyun suddenly takes his hand starts inspecting it.

 

“Hyung..” he starts, forehead wrinkling, “why is you hand so calloused? Didn’t you put on any lotion? Your palm is so rough. Let me see the other one.”

Hoseok just shrugs and give his other hand to the man. Kihyun starts inspecting both of his hands and his wrinkles deepen.

“Look at these! Are these hands or feets? You need to start applying lotion hyung,” he starts his first phase of nagging.

“I play sports Kihyun-ah. Of course my hands would be rough.” Hoseok sighs.

“Other people play sports too but their hands don’t feel like sandpaper.” The small man retorts, eyebrow cocking.

“Well other people have other people applying lotions on their hands for them.” 

“Is this some kind of a way to insinuate that I should do that for you? Because you know I would. Don’t challenge me. I could make your hands become smoother than a baby’s bum if I had my way.” And Kihyun starts sprouting off various lotions’ names that Hoseok is pretty sure some doesn’t even exist.

He’s still inspecting Hoseok hands, now pointing out its other (according to Kihyun’s standard) flaws. Like how Hoseok’s fingers are too long. How his nails are too shiny. How his hands are too hot for a normal person. And Hoseok just let it all happens. Heart beating a thousand notes simultaneously.

 

Then Hoseok saw him, making his way silently towards their table. 

 

He puts a finger on his lips, a universal sign for Hoseok to keep quite. The butterflies in Hoseok’s stomach disappear as fast as they come. A feeling of dread washes over Hoseok as he silently retreats his suddenly cold hands from Kihyun’s grasp towards himself. 

 

Hoseok’s time is up.

 

Kihyun looks at Hoseok in confusion, still unaware of the presence of the man behind him.

“Hyung? Wha-“he stops whatever he was going to say as a pair of hands wraps around his small waist from behind.

Kihyun immediately beams. His brilliant smile that could light up the whole world re-appear on his face. He knew. He would always know whenever he’s around. 

And slowly, the crack that is always there on Hoseok’s heart starts to grow. 

“Oh? Who is this? Whose hands is it? Who is it that dares to touch the Great Kihyun freely?” He plays along, his smile broadens and eyes crinkles in mirth. 

 

Hoseok’s heart wails. 

 

The man tightens his hold on Kihyun’s waist.

“Me.” He arches his head forward and kisses Kihyun’s cheek. 

“Hyunwoo-hyung!” Kihyun exclaims in joy. “I miss you. How’s your class?”He asks sweetly; face looking as if someone just gave him the moon. 

 

The large man, Hyunwoo, takes a seat beside Kihyun, where he usually sits. 

 

His rightful place right by the beautiful man’s side.

 

“As usual. Hey Hoseok.’Sup?” He finally turns towards Hoseok and greets him. Hoseok smiles back a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Nothin’ much. Your beloved here, though, was driving me mad! I think he secretly has a hand fetish. You better be careful Hyunwoo-ah.” Hoseok tries to joke. Trying to avoid either of them from noticing the war inside his heart.

Hyunwoo smiles at that, and turns back towards Kihyun to smile at him fondly. Kihyun’s lips mirroring the same expression on his own face.

And Hoseok could only hopelessly stare at the sight of the two perfect lovers in front of him, and thought how both of them make a beautiful picture together.

 

The thing is, Hoseok can never hate Hyunwoo.   
Even if Hyunwoo has the thing that Hoseok achingly longs the most in the world. Even if Hyunwoo’s the one who holds Kihyun’s heart.  
Because Hoseok knows.   
Hoseok knows that as much as he is so so in love with Kihyun, Hyunwoo too is so so in love with Kihyun.

 

Because Hoseok knows, just how Kihyun takes care of their other friends, Hyunwoo takes care of Kihyun the same way. Hoseok knows that as much as Kihyun hearts soar with affection for his loved ones, Hyunwoo’s heart soars for Kihyun too. Hoseok knows that as much as Kihyun care for the people around him, Hyunwoo cares for Kihyun similarly, perhaps even more.

So really, Hoseok doesn’t hate Hyunwoo. Because both Hoseok and Hyunwoo are in the same boat. Kihyun holds both their hearts in his hands, and both of them are hopeless against him.

 

“Shut up hyung! I do not have a hand fetish!” Kihyun pouts. His cheeks reddened, probably from the embarrassment. Hyunwoo laughs. He pinches Kihyun’s cheek with his large hand, and Hoseok would sacrifice everything just to be in his place right now.

“Cute.” He says. And the smallest man amongst them blushes furiously.

“…shut up hyung.” Kihyun mumbles while trying to hide his reddened face inside his oversized sweater.

Hyunwoo eyes crinkle in amusement.

“Hey, do you guys want to check out the new meat place near the station? Jooheon said their beef-dishes are not bad.” Hyunwoo asks both Kihyun and Hoseok. One hand unconsciously stroking his stomach, probably already imagining all the beef he could eat. 

Kihyun side-eyes his boyfriend and secretly rolls his eyes in classic Kihyun way.

“Meat place? When did it open? I haven’t heard of it before?” The pinkette replies with a frown. Doubt always come first for the man whenever dealing with something he’s not used to.

“Don’t know.” The larger man deadpans. “Can we go? Please?” He asks again. 

Hoseok thought he looks like an overgrown puppy. Quite a scary picture to be honest. 

“I..guess? Okay.” Kihyun finally says defeated. He can never say no to Hyunwoo.

“You guys go. I don’t feel like eating out.” Hoseok says after not saying anything for a while.

“Why?” Kihyun quickly inquires. “Are you not feeling well?” Worry suddenly etches onto his face.

“No! No! I’m just tired. Hasn’t had enough sleep yesterday.” Hoseok lies. The truth is he doesn’t think he could be around the couple without breaking his heart even more. 

Hoseok also knows that the two lovers might want to be alone anyway.

 

It’s okay. He could give them some time alone.

 

“Are you sure?” Kihyun asks again.

Hoseok nods.

“Okay then. See you later hyung. Oh, don’t forget to eat dinner! I’ll call you tonight to make sure. You know what? Just come to our house, hyung. I’ll cook dinner for yo-” 

“Hoseok’s a grown man Kihyun-ah. He’ll manage just fine.” Hyunwoo cuts Kihyun off gently.

His tone flat, but a fond smile slowly forming on his face. Anyone at the vicinity could see the adoration dripping from his eyes for the smaller man.

Kihyun pouts. “I’m just worried about him.” He says, cheeks starting to turn pink again. 

Hoseok really wants to touch him, but Hyunwoo already beats him to it. His large hand stroking Kihyun’s cheek lovingly.

Kihyun’s face flushes. 

 

And Hoseok knows.   
Hoseok knows that as much as Hyunwoo loves Kihyun, Kihyun loves Hyunwoo back.  
And that is what differ Hoseok from Hyunwoo.   
Kihyun loves Hyunwoo, and not Hoseok.

 

“Aren’t you always?” Hyunwoo chuckles. 

“Just go Kihyun-ah. And Hyunwoo’s right. I’m a big boy. I know how to take care of myself.” Hoseok says, trying to reassure the always worried smaller man.

Kihyun still looks doubtful, but he thankfully decided to let his worry go. “Don’t eat ramyun again okay hyung? Please? I know you’ve been eating those for three days already.” He says almost pleadingly.

And who is Hoseok to deny Kihyun anything?

“Okay okay. Don’t worry, I won’t. Promise.” Hoseok replies, smiling at Kihyun.

Kihyun smiles back.

“See you later Hoseok.” Hyunwoo says, punching Hoseok’s arm lightly. Hoseok reciprocate the gesture.

“Yeah..later…” Hoseok says softly and watch as both of them leave the cafeteria, hands linking together. 

 

The love that Hoseok feels, it may hurt him. The love that he holds so dearly to his heart may be the reason for his constant heart pain. The love he has for Kihyun may never be reciprocated.

Because Kihyun does not love him, like how he loves Hyunwoo.

But it’s okay.  
If it’s for Kihyun, Hoseok’ll gladly endure the pain.  
Because Hoseok loves him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry really.  
> LIKE A MILLION TIMES SORRY!!!  
> This is my first fic and I promised someone ( read : myself ) that the first fic I write for MX fandom will be Showki /WAILSSS/  
> But my angsty ass can't help myself and my hands just write itself some angst and I couldn't let this ship sinks :'((((  
> So I need a scapegoat SORRY SHIN HOSEOK! I'll make up to you later I PROMISE!!!  
> /MORE WAILINGSS/  
> I SWEAR I'LL POPULATE THIS GODDAMN WORLD WITH MORE SHOWKI (and kiho since I'm basically trash for both ships)


End file.
